“Whole”

The universe in me rages and roars

It rises and falls

There isn't a big enough castle to shatter with my voice

I remember being wheeled in like a package on a forklift

I remember wearing a paper gown that blew hot air

Like an arcade hockey table

I remember oxygen tubes in my nose

Needles and stickers and wires

I remember being a car with an open hood

I woke up and knew pieces of me will be in a dumpster tonight

Every muscle in my face was pulled tight to hold back tears

My chest was a lumpy sandbox where a child hid his toys

If my spirit could make a sound

It would crumble freeway bridges

It would shake the clouds so violently

That they would forget how to be clouds

Just like l've forgotten what it feels like To be whole

NIGHTBIRDE